an unofficial entry in the now-defunct “butch please" column
every year, we dance this dance. we say these lines, and i try to get my timing right, my nods and my apologies, but she has the monologue down, she doesn’t want this to be a two-man show anymore. she’s been reciting her part for so long now that i know half the words, too. there are moments when the sentences don’t even need to be finished for how familiar they are, how they fit into my memories like little white scars.
i buy you these beautiful clothes, and you don’t wear them. we save all year so you can have nice clothes, so you can have a nice christmas, and you never wear them. i never see them on you. what happened to the sweater i bought you last year? the one with the beads on it? why do i buy you these beautiful clothes if you don’t care? i would have loved to have beautiful clothes when i was your age, beautiful clothes like these. why do i bother? it hurts.
Okay. I am not a butch as Kade, and my mom is not nearly as obsessed with rigid gender roles as her mother, but this still resonates so badly. Sometimes, just sometimes, my life can feel just a little bit like a tiny sliver of this. And if that hurts me as much as it does, I cannot comprehend how Kade must feel.
In case you’re in need of motivation, have some from the Doctor.
You can do it!
Thanks Doctor, I needed that.
The long awaited.. PRINCE AND THE PRINCESS…
My final project for my book arts class. Hope you enjoy ;o;
Oh god this is my liiiiiife.
Okay, my life goal is to love someone, and have them love me, exactly this much.
Lizzy Caplan for GQ Magazine
Need a reason to watch Masters of Sex? This is the best one.
I can’t wait to find it.
Take me to all the bookstores.
My heart can’t take this.
The first two pictures are of the Chapters at Runnymede and Bloor, in Toronto, aka, my local bookstore that I go to all the time! It’s a bookstore in what was once a theatre, which is basically a mix of my two favourite things and is pretty much the most awesome thing of all time. And it’s even more awesome because yeah, you see Shakespeare and Company in every one of these “most beautiful bookstores” lists, but the Bloor and Runnymede Chapters is has never (to my knowledge) made one of these lists before, and I don’t know why, but I feel oddly proud.